If you are a Hamilton musical fan a lot of these thoughts will make sense. If you are not, I hope that you can follow my thoughts anyway.
I have written about my feelings about Puerto Rico during my recent trip during the Holidays (Dec 2018-Jan 2019).
I went through a roller coaster of emotions. My elderly mom lives in Puerto Rico and it is always sad to see her deterioration. Her memory is failing. She is otherwise stable, but it is hard to see your parent aging and not able to do anything about it. This trip was even more difficult as I was trying to help my elderly uncle, who doesn’t have anyone to take care of him. I was dealing with business systems in Puerto Rico trying to solve issues, but it was hard for me to deal with some of the mentality of the people that I encountered.
I spent some tough days wondering about my place in Puerto Rico. I wanted to belong. I wanted to feel connected. But somehow the negative experiences trying to help my uncle with his care really deflated my spirit. I was down and I felt defeated. But the most frustrating part was that I had a lot of expectations for this trip. As part of my journey of self-discovery, I expected my coqui soul to feel welcomed, connected, and embraced. While dealing with the issues in Puerto Rico, I did not have those feelings and I felt very disappointed and even shameful for not finding that connection.
But then I followed the news about the preparations for Hamilton in Puerto Rico. Lin-Manuel and his parents were in Puerto Rico and the newspapers and television shows had reports about the Miranda family almost daily. This was a big event for the island. Everyone in the island was excited about the musical and so was I. Suddenly listening to Lin-Manuel and his parents changed my perspective. They were so proud and so happy to be in Puerto Rico. They showcased the goodness of the Puerto Ricans and their invincible spirit, especially after dealing with the deadly Hurricane Maria at the end of 2017. Puerto Ricans not only survived but did it with dignity and perseverance. Listening to others speaking about Puerto Rico awaken the coqui soul again. I started to feel part of something. I started to connect again with my native land. I started to see a different side – a positive side – that has been masked by the recent negative experiences dealing with my elderly relatives.
Somehow, my perspective was refuted by Lin-Manuel. I stand corrected, Lin-Manuel. I have feelings for Puerto Rico. I have emotions that generate from my family and upbringing in Puerto Rico. Suddenly the love for my culture, my people, and my land surfaced again through Hamilton in Puerto Rico. My coqui soul is alive and does not want to forget its roots. My love for Puerto Rico is restored thanks to my experience of Hamilton in Puerto Rico and Lin-Manuel.
Ines refuted. Love restored.
My Coqui Soul Project 