A Tale of Two Christmases

Today I’m heading to Puerto Rico for Christmas. It is funny that as I’m getting ready this morning, I find myself humming Christmas tunes. But not Christmas tunes from Puerto Rico, but American Christmas songs. ‘I’ll be home for Christmas’ was in my mind and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I’m glad that I was humming songs, as that was a sign that I was somewhat relaxed.

It is always stressful to travel, especially when we are flying long distance, like to Puerto Rico. My husband and I were traveling for the Holidays for a long stay this time – three weeks – so packing was a challenge, especially when we only take carry-on luggage.

Thinking about our travel this morning reminded me of the two types of Christmas that I have experienced since I married. We alternate each year to visit family and the Christmases are totally different. Every other year we go to Idaho to my in-laws. Spending Christmas in Idaho, for someone from Puerto Rico, has always been challenging for me. Not because I don’t want to visit my husband’s family, but because I miss Puerto Rico during Christmas more than any other time in the year. It is usually a very melancholic time for me. During Christmas, my coqui soul wants to be in Puerto Rico. It is hard for me, as my husband also experiences being homesick and he wants to go to Idaho so bad. But for me, is more than a location. Our Christmas in Idaho is such a departure from what I grew up with in Puerto Rico.

Christmas in Idaho is all about family and football at the home of my in-laws. It is usually cold, there is usually a lot of snow, and we don’t go out much. As everyone else in my in-laws family, I’m also interested in the bowl games and rooting for my football team, University of Michigan. But the feeling around the family gathering is completely different from what I grew up with in Puerto Rico. I have been married for 23 years, which means that we have been going to my in-laws for a long time. Despite that, I still miss the Christmas spirit in Puerto Rico. At this time of the year, something takes over my head – feelings of melancholy toward my native Puerto Rico and my family – and I find myself unable to control those feelings. I feel torn between my American life in the United States and the usual American Christmas, and my Puerto Rican identity and cultural attachment to the island that pulls me in a different direction.

I enjoy the American Christmas’ traditions. I usually start humming American Christmas songs in early December, as my birthday approaches. I really get into the American Christmas spirit. And that makes sense, as I have lived in the States for more than half my life. But there are always different feelings that wake up during the Christmas season related to my Puerto Rican roots. Christmas in Puerto Rico is so different, because Puerto Rican culture is completely different from the United States. The Puerto Rican Christmas is rich with music and dance. There are the ‘parrandas’ where groups gather to sing Puerto Rican Christmas songs while going from house to house. There is the celebration of Three Kings Day where Puerto Rican kids get gifts for a second time during the season – after receiving gifts from Santa Claus on Christmas day. There are the special Christmas songs that are newly released each year – yes, every Christmas, there are new songs written for the season and the radio stations fill their broadcast with traditional and newly released songs.

Besides the cultural differences, there is the warm weather. Christmas weather in Puerto Rico is usually around 80 degrees – not much different from the weather throughout the year. After all, we are in the Caribbean, and weather in the Caribbean doesn’t change much. You live in shorts and t-shirts, you can go to the beach, and a ‘party-like’ atmosphere dominates every day during the holiday season. Also, the season in Puerto Rico goes forever. It usually starts after Thanksgiving, like in the United States, but that’s pretty much the only similarity. Holidays in Puerto Rico extend way beyond Christmas Day. There is the excitement of Christmas and gifts to be given and received, but then comes New Year’s Eve – a big day in Puerto Rico, where there are celebrations throughout the neighborhoods and hotels. In fact, my husband and I will go with my parents to celebrate New Year’s at a hotel every time we were visiting Puerto Rico. New Year’s Day seems to define the end of the Holiday season in the United States. But in Puerto Rico, that is only the beginning. After New Year’s, there is Three Kings Day (January 6) – a big celebration in Puerto Rico, where kids get gifts a second time. Then Puerto Ricans keep adding holidays after January 6. There are the ‘octavas’ (eight days after January 6), and then the ‘octavitas’ (eight days after that). But wait…it’s not over yet. If you are in San Juan, then you celebrate the ‘Fiestas de San Sebastian,’ starting about mid-January – a ‘Mardi Gras’ like celebration where people flood the streets of Old San Juan for a week, with continuous parades of music and dancing everywhere you go. I have never experienced the ‘Fiestas de San Sebastian,’ but I hope to do that someday.

So, as I said earlier, the Christmas/Holiday season in Puerto Rico is very different from the United States in many ways, both in cultural and timeline terms. Being from Puerto Rico, it is difficult to not miss the spirit of celebration that permeates throughout the island during the Holidays. Christmas in Puerto Rico is like nothing else in the world, as the cultural roots dominate the music, dance, and traditions during the many festivities.

Puerto Ricans are Americans by birth, but our cultural roots go back more than five hundred years when Christopher Columbus discovered the island in 1492. Puerto Rican culture is a complex mix of Spanish, African, and American traditions. But the Spanish and African traditions are the oldest and most ingrained in our culture. We have only be part of the United States for a little over 100 years. Before the United States landed in Puerto Rico, there was already a very strong culture fully developed and deeply impressed in the psyche of Puerto Ricans.

Being torn between two cultures is not a new feeling for me. In fact, the reason why I’m going through this journey of self-discovery is because I feel torn and uneasy a lot lately, especially as I grow older. It’s like the longer I live in the United States, the stronger the feelings of wanting to find myself – the harder the struggle with my identity and wanting to understand and getting in touch with my soul – my coqui soul.

I live in two cultures. Thus, I experience two Christmases.

Cheering myself up through Hamilton

If you are a Hamilton musical fan a lot of these thoughts will make sense. If you are not, I hope that you can follow my thoughts anyway.

Work has been very hard lately. I have felt like I ran out of steam. Or maybe I should say that I am running out of steam, to be a bit hopeful that maybe there is some steam left?

Hamilton, the musical, helped restart the engine, the light, the steam!

There has been so many things happening during the last couple of years. They have been painful years…Trump won the election and became President two years ago. I work for a federal agency whose mission has not been supported by the new Administration. In addition, I’m a Hispanic woman and Hispanics and minorities have been attacked in the public arena. It has felt like my life has gone through an emotional roller coaster. Maybe not a roller coaster, because there were more ‘downs’ than ‘ups.’ A tumultuous couple of years – defining years- as I will figure out and reflect again about my purpose. There were a lot of down times – sadness, fear, uncertainty. My confidence shaken, a feeling of loss of value. I have felt belittled, insulted, offended as a minority Hispanic woman in the United States, and an immigrant. At times I felt hopeless, depressed, lost. It has taken me a couple of years to recover, to be where I am today.

To better understand where I am today, I feel like I need to look back, re-examine, re-evaluate, pick-up the pieces to be whole again, find the lessons that were given through times of desperation, find my worth and value again, rediscover who I am, my purpose, my gift. I need to take a SHOT at life and pursue my life purpose – WRITING!

What does Hamilton have to do with all this? A lot…

Running out of steam…I know how that feels like. But I can get up again…RISE UP! I have been there. I know I can do it. I can make it to the finish line.

“Set up your eyes on what lies ahead after the finish line – not what you have to go through to make it to the finish line.” — IS

There might be pain, but your mind can take you to the finish line. It’s like running a marathon! Every time I think about the marathon, a smile appears in my face. That was such an accomplishment. Such Sisu! Sisu is a Finnish word that is hard to translate to English. It means something like being gutsy or determined. But in reality it is a lot more than that. (I will be writing more on the Finnish connection later).

When I ran the Detroit marathon years ago, I collapsed twice! Think about it. Not once, but twice! But I got up – RISE UP! – and I finished the marathon ‘standing’ with a smile on my face that was recorded by the photographer at the finish line. How in the world did that happened? It happened because of who I am. I am persistent. I am passionate, gutsy. I never give up when something is on the line. So there is a no reason to give up, regardless of the pain and suffering experienced some days. The journey to the finish line will always have ups and downs. But having a goal in mind will take me to the finish line and beyond – retirement and maybe a book as an outcome of this blog! It will happen because I will not give up. I might feel like collapsing, like running out of steam, but I will get up – RISE UP!

I WILL NOT THROW AWAY MY SHOT!

My Shot! I want to be Hamilton!

If you are a Hamilton musical fan a lot of these thoughts will make sense. If you are not, I hope that you can follow my thoughts anyway.

Funny how things appear in your path and impact your life….destiny? Serendipity?

A little over a year has passed since my 55th birthday. That birthday started a seed that now I’m finally beginning to see grow into this blog that I started on my 56th birthday.

For my 55th birthday, I went to Chicago to see ‘Hamilton: An American Musical.’ I was filled with excitement. It seemed that every other soul, but my husband and I, has seen Hamilton – the most popular musical in many years. I knew a little about the musical, but mostly that it was very popular in Broadway and that his creator was from a family from Puerto Rico. The creator was Lin-Manuel Miranda. Beyond that, I didn’t know much about the story line or everything else about the book from which the musical was based on. Actually, I didn’t even know that there was a book until after I saw the musical. I have heard that the musical was awesome, great from co-workers and news. Because of my lack of knowledge, I thought it was a good idea to read/learn a bit about ‘Hamilton’ before heading to Chicago. I didn’t want to be lost during the performance. As my husband and I were waiting for the train to Chicago, I went to Wikipedia. The article was short and I got a taste for what was to come, as I read and share with my husband the ‘cliff notes’ for ‘Hamilton.’ Thank you Wikipedia!

Nothing out there could have prepared me for what was to come…. My experience was out of this world. I felt connected to the musical in a way that I still can’t quite fully describe or explain. It was such an emotional experience. There were so many similarities…Is this why I felt an immediate connection?

Hamilton – an immigrant from the Caribbean – was working hard against all odds to become a founding father. Fast forwarding more than two centuries, I found my life reflected in front of me as I was watching the musical. From that day on, the lyrics are always on my mind!

I felt so much pride when I saw ’Hamilton.’ But it was so much more…the Puerto Rico connection (the hurricane)…the immigrant…the passion…the search for something more…the feeling that there is a purpose…the need for something more…the idea of not giving up… (Non-stop)…the inexplicable fire in my chest and head of thousands of thoughts/words wanting to come out…the love of writing…the love of writing!

My SHOT! What an inspiration! What about my shot? What is supposed to be my place in history?

RISE UP! Don’t give up! Don’t give up your dream. What is supposed to be my legacy? What am I leaving behind after I’m gone? Is this the reason why I’m coming back to writing? I want to leave something behind, something for posterity – my legacy? But it is so much more than that….Hamilton fired up my engine again. Hamilton lit up a fire within me that I was struggling to keep alive.

I have been down lately – depressed? I have been searching for answers, searching for inspiration, searching for a reason to go on, searching for happiness, searching for ‘my purpose.’

JUST YOU WAIT!

It is up to me to do what I want, to follow my dream…to write! I love it. This is the one thing that comes without effort. I have so many thoughts that I want to share. It feels so good to write them. They flow freely and I can’t contain them. Why should I? I should go back to writing. It really doesn’t matter what happens with my writings. Let the future, my destiny, evolve…Let the happiness…

RISE UP!

I have been talking (writing) about finding my purpose for a while. I’m not waiting any longer.

DON’T THROW AWAY YOUR SHOT!

We only have one life. I should pursue my purpose, my happiness, my freedom. I need to lead my life. It is all up to me, not to others. It is not about my job. It is about what I do with my free time. What I pursue because it brings me joy, not because I have to, but because I want to.

Hamilton brought hope, re-alignment, re-focus, pride – an immigrant from the Caribbean achieving greatness/success. Hamilton shook my core and my soul, but in a positive way. Hamilton reminded me that our ‘inside forces’ are stronger than ‘outside factors.’ That drive, passion, and perseverance can move mountains. That achievement is self-driven, not given. Hamilton reminded me that I too can write and express myself and do it because I ‘feel’ those feelings and I have the thoughts. The thoughts and feelings are real because they are mine. No one can tell me otherwise. My purpose and goal is not to convince, but to be honest and true to myself – to be something more than what’s in sight, to give a voice to my soul, to experience the freedom and happiness that comes from being myself. There is a ‘purity’ (wholesomeness) that comes with the freedom of expression – an indescribable feeling of giving ‘life’ to your soul. It is like an adventure in exploring oneself in a way that no one else can, without doubts, regrets…let the pen flow, guide you, be honest, be true, be pure, be you!

DON’T THROW AWAY YOUR SHOT!

Maybe I’m not writing a novel, an autobiography, a memoir. Maybe I’m just supposed to write my thoughts, ideas. Maybe they are valuable to others? But even if they are not…they are valuable to me and they need to come out…they need to be written down. Doing anything short of that would be like killing my soul, like drowning the beauty of freedom, like betraying myself, my life, who I am, my purpose, my SHOT!

I’M NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!

This is my revolution! This is my time! This is my happiness! This is my path! This is my purpose. This is me!

Miss Universe 2018

Another Miss Universe…

I have watched Miss Universe since I was little. It has always been exciting to follow the Puerto Rico contestant. Puerto Rico has done very well in Miss Universe, winning multiple times. I’m not sure how many times, but multiple times for sure; more than other countries.

It is always exciting to watch Miss Universe. This is one of those times that Puerto Rico competes as an independent nation and this is one of the reasons why I will never want to become a state. Competing as an independent nation in Miss Universe and sports competitions, like the Olympics, has always been one of the highlights of being Puerto Rican. During these competitions it is when your Puerto Rican pride comes blasting full force against all countries in the world, including the United States. As a Puerto Rican, I will always root for Puerto Rico against the United States. The loyalty to Puerto Rico is unequivocal.

This is one line in the sand that gets drawn during every international competition. Puerto Rico is a territory of the United States. As such, Puerto Rico competes as an independent nation. If Puerto Rico was a state, we would not be able to compete as a separate nation. To other Americans this might feel shallow or unimportant. But for Puerto Ricans, and me, this is extremely important. At these competitions, the spirit of Puerto Rico comes to life, thriving and roaring like a lion. At these moments, the little island in the Caribbean shines as bright as the big powers of the world, including the United States.

I’m an American citizen, but during Miss Universe and many other international competitions, I will always, always root for Puerto Rico.

Let’s see what happens… go Puerto Rico! It will be great to show the world that we are here and stronger than ever, despite the struggles that we faced after hurricane Maria. We rise again!

The Cockfighting Wars

I always keep up with the Puerto Rican newspaper to learn about what’s going on in the island. After all, I’m Puerto Rican. So even though I live thousands of miles from the island, my immediate family still lives in Puerto Rico. But to be honest, I don’t follow the Puerto Rican news because of my family. I follow the news because my journey of self-discovery attempting to understand my soul and emotions is very much related to my Puerto Rican heritage. Anyway, I will be talking about all that later, but for now I want to share my emotions about the recent news.

The United States Congress declared cockfighting illegal and these news have dominated the newspapers and discussions in the island, from the poorest towns to the highest government officials, including the Governor of Puerto Rico. Amazingly, the cockfighting prohibition awakened the soul of Puerto Ricans like nothing else before. Why? I will share my own feelings about this, because I found myself reacting similarly to those living in Puerto Rico. Congress drew a line in the sand and I knew immediately where I stood – and it was not with the United States.

When I read the news, I was appalled. Somehow the news triggered a reaction in my soul that called for rebellion and disgust. The recent prohibition from Congress was a blatant exercise of United States colonialism. Yes, Puerto Rico is a colony of the United States and the recent act against cockfighting provides an unequivocal example of the colonial relationship between the United States and Puerto Rico. There are a lot of complicated aspects ingrained in this relationship that started in 1898 when United States attacked Puerto Rico during the Spanish American War and took control of the island from Spain. I have been doing a lot of research about this through my journey of self-discovery and the feelings awakened by this research will probably surface through a lot of my writings.

Today I wanted to share that I’m siding with Puerto Ricans and my position is clear and cemented by my Puerto Rican roots. I had the same feelings of the many Puerto Ricans that have expressed their disgust with Congress’ action against cockfighting. I find myself in a place that could be hard to understand by other Americans. Yes, I’m an American by birth – I was born in Puerto Rico and I’m an American citizen. But I’m drawn to Puerto Rico and its struggles by my coqui soul. That I can’t refute. My soul picked a side – that of Puerto Rico – and there is nothing I can do. I should say that I don’t want to do anything differently. I feel proud to pick Puerto Rico as my side. The purpose of this journey is to find clarity and peace. Through my rebellious reaction to Congress’ action, I experienced clarity and peace.

I’m against colonialism. The recent lack of action from the United States toward Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria clearly displayed the worst of colonialism. With the cockfighting prohibition, the United States again take control over the island as a master over its slave. There is no consideration for Puerto Ricans and its culture. I have never participated in a cockfight before. But I don’t need to. My grandfather did. Cockfighting is part of the Puerto Rican culture. Like bullfighting is part of the Spanish culture. I love animals, and it saddens me that I have to pick a side that might not align with my love for animals. But, it’s a matter of principle. The ruling against cockfighting is a ruling for colonialism.

If you think this is a big contradiction, you are right. That is what I live with – a big contradiction of loyalty toward my Puerto Rico and loyalty toward the United States. Loyalty toward my values and love of animals and rebellion against the prohibition. The dichotomy has been present – and will most likely be present throughout my entire life. But understanding why that dichotomy exists and understanding its roots, are the main reasons why I started this journey.

It is complicated. I will continue to explore my feelings in an attempt to better understand my soul. The path will be full of contradictions, but nevertheless, I need to do this because getting to know my soul and finding its voice is needed for my survival.

Today I stand against colonialism. I stand for Puerto Rico. My coqui soul knows which side I should be with. I’m standing strong with my fellow Puerto Ricans.

This Beautiful Land

Today I was flying back from my niece’s graduation. We spent the weekend in Moscow, Idaho. This is the home of the University of Idaho (UI) – the Alma mater of my dear husband and few members of his family. My niece became the fifth member of the husband’s family who have attended the UI.

It was a memorable and satisfying trip. Several months ago we didn’t know if my father-in-law will make it to Moscow. We were all relieved that my father-in-law not only made it, but looked so much better. His health is continuing to improve and we are all very happy about that.

I will write later about the commencement, but for now I wanted to write about the beautiful flight from Idaho to Utah. It was amazing! First, the rolling hills of the Palouse around Lewiston, and then the mountains and canyons getting bigger and more dramatic as we went on. Looking out the airplane window was mesmerizing. I found myself not able to look away. I wanted to see it all. It was relaxing while exhilarating at the same time. This land is so beautiful. I felt so small compared to the greatness of this land, this earth, this planet. It was a humbling experience.

When we go about our life, we feel that the world revolves around us – that somehow what’s happening (at work or personal life) is important or relevant. Then you are up there in the sky taking a peek at the world and then you realize that there is so much more than our daily lives. That there is so much beauty to experience in this world. That our lives are just small blips in the universe and we should take the time to pause and think about what’s around us.

I feel refreshed, blessed, and grateful for being able to experience such beauty…

Commencement

Today I attended my niece’s commencement at the University of Idaho (UI). What a beautiful experience! Nothing like being surrounded by the excitement of graduation to make you feel renewed.

The speeches, the videos, the photos. You can feel the pride in the air. The parents and family shouting the names of the graduates as they go through the podium. The cheers and applause growing as the afternoon went on. A lot of love in the air.

Listening to the remarks made me reminisce about my own graduations. I have had several graduations throughout my lifetime. Don’t remember much of the graduations before high school. I bet they were important to my parents, but I honestly can’t say that they were memorable to me. I do remember a bit about my eight grade graduation – the leap from middle school to high school. I guess that was many years ago and it is hard to remember. However, I know it was a very proud moment to myself and my parents, as I was the top student of the class. Then there was the high school graduation. The year was 1980. That one is a little bit more ingrained in my memory. Again, I was the top student of my class and I remember writing the speech. I still have that speech and I was able to bring it back to life during my high school 25th reunion. I remember looking at the graduation pictures. I looked like a General with so many medals on my chest. I received a gold medal for every discipline where I was the top student. And yes, I took them all! Graduating from high school was certainly memorable and I will never forget the pride exuded by my parents as they saw their oldest daughter getting recognition for achieving such a significant milestone.

Then it was college. I received my degree in Chemistry in 1984 from the University of Puerto Rico in Mayaguez. My years at college are very dear to my heart. I made lifelong friends during college. There was so much growth during my college years. I can say that I was finally flying from my parent’s nest – little by little, year by year, as I spent four years in college. I developed my personality and started feeling like an individual – not any longer my parent’s daughter, but myself. College years were forming years. Those were the years where I started searching for my soul – unknowingly – by starting questioning my future and my purpose. I did well in college (I continued to have very good grades), but I also can say that I thoroughly enjoyed my time in college.

Finding myself – it has been a tough road

We are all different. Why am I struggling so much recently about who I am, where I come from, questioning if I fit in? I wondered if I have changed who I am deep inside me in order to fit in. Have I become a different person (a fake?) to fit in? Why was it needed and/or necessary? Why do I struggle with feeling confident and valued? Maybe it is because of all the messages out there (before and after the election) – negativity towards immigrants, Hispanics, minorities, women. It is hard to not take those hurtful comments personally. What am I supposed to do – it feels personal because it hurts at a personal level. The insults and offenses, targeting minorities, Hispanics like me. How can I ignore, forget, move on? I have tried during the past couple of years to do that, but it has not worked. The negativity, the messages are all around me and they spill into not only my personal but work life.

What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to leave the feelings behind me, leave them at the door when I go to work? To me, that’s like asking a person to leave behind ‘at the door’ who they are. Ignoring what’s happening in this country (especially after the election) feels like betraying myself. I can’t hide the color of my skin, I can’t hide my accent, I can’t leave my ‘values’ behind me when I come to work or when I interact with others. That’s why it is so hard to not take things ‘personal.’ The negative messages hit my core, my soul, and my values. They hit deep and they hit hard. They have shaken my confidence. They have caused fear and distrust. Maybe writing all this will be like ‘therapy’ for my soul. At least I will have an avenue to express my voice, express my pain, express my frustration, and express myself.

Sadness after Happiness

I had such a happy day yesterday celebrating my 56th birthday. I felt so relaxed, even though going to work usually gives me stress. However, I was able to re-energize my spirits through relaxation and the many joys experienced during my birthday. I got up early and felt that I could conquer the world. Unfortunately, sadness was soon to come.

Not long after I arrived at work I received news that a person in my staff passed during the weekend. It was a sudden death. Shocking. I have spoken with her a few days ago and she seemed happy with her usual cheery attitude. Then today, she is gone. It’s not easy to write about this. I have spent almost all day crying, thinking about her, thinking about how fragile life is.

We make plans, we worry about things, we think we are in control and then we realize when someone dies that control is an illusion and that not much that happens around you at work is important compared to the loss of a life. Death reminds us that we should live every minute as it was our last; that what’s important in life are the relationships that we have with our loved ones; that nothing else matters much.

I have been thinking a lot today about one of Queen’s songs that I heard at the movie that we watched a couple of days ago (Bohemian Rhapsody movie). The title of the song is ‘Who Wants to Live Forever.’ No one lives forever, but I want to say that I want to live forever. I don’t want to die. I have so many things that I want to do.

The loss that I experienced today reinforces my project. I’m glad I started this blog. I’m glad that I’m not waiting for any special signs (I have received many already). I want to follow my dream now. I want to live everyday feeling that I contributed to my life’s purpose. Whatever time I have in this world I want to use to do what I enjoy — and that is writing. Like Hamilton, I don’t want to throw away my shot!

My birthday 2018

December 3rd, 2018

Today I celebrated my 56th birthday. There is something very special about today, as I created and began my first blog.

I had a great day. I usually take the day off on my birthday, which I did today. It is a tradition for my husband to also take the day off. Sometimes we get out of town to celebrate, but today we stayed home. One of my favorite’s things to do is to be off on my birthday, get up late, and then go downtown. We didn’t have any specific plans, other than dinner, so we spent the day walking around, shopping a little, and just having a relaxing time with no schedule to follow.

We started the day by having a relaxed breakfast at home. My husband got up before me to decorate the house with colorful birthday banners and balloons. When he was done, he called me to come down to open presents and have breakfast.

We had celebrated the day before by going to the movies. I loved Bohemian Rhapsody, so my husband gave me the movie soundtrack for my birthday and he was playing it when I got up. After reading my beautiful birthday cards and opening gifts, we then slowly got ready for our day.

We did a lot of special little things. We had lunch at a famous lunch spot in downtown Ann Arbor that specializes in dogs and soups. They are only open for lunch during the week, so having the day off allowed us to go there for lunch. This was our first time at ‘Le Dog.’ Boy was it good! We both had two types of chili – white chicken chili and beef chili. They were delicious! The lunch spot is basically a stand, so everything is take out. We took our soups to a bench and had a wonderful lunch savoring the delicious soups. After lunch we just walked slowly from one end of town to another. We stopped at various stores – mostly window shopping, but also used the opportunity to do a bit of Christmas shopping. I admit that I also did a bit of shopping for myself. After all, it was my birthday! I found some good deals and felt great about getting a couple of things at great prices. We also stopped at our favorite bookstore and spent a lot of time looking at books. We can’t never go to the bookstore and get out quickly. We both loved books and it is so tempting to explore all the new books. We ended up buying a lot of books, some for gifts, but most for ourselves. My reading list keeps growing….

After shopping, we found our way back to where we started to have dinner at my favorite birthday restaurant. I have been going to the same restaurant for many years, even before I met my husband. I’m a traditionalist and always want to go back to the same restaurant and have the same dish – Paella. Yummy!

The restaurant is very special to me for two reasons. First, it is my traditional dinner spot to celebrate my birthday. Second, it is the place where we got engaged during my birthday many years ago. Thus, we now celebrate my birthday and our engagement anniversary.

I’m so blessed to have found the love of my life…and the restaurant brings back so many memories of our engagement. More on our engagement and my dear husband later.

For now, I want to bask some more on the great day I had with my loving husband and the relaxing time celebrating my birthday. A very special day indeed, when I stop and think about how lucky I am to share my life with my soulmate.

Tomorrow…back to work and back to the grind.