How I Started to Seriously Consider Writing

On April 21, 2016, I looked at a brochure of public classes given through my local recreation and education department. I saw a class listed – The Craft of Creative Writing Workshop – and decided to register for it. I read the description of the class and I said to myself, why not? The description included non-fiction and that is something that I have always be interested in. The class had actually started the day before, so I was hoping that they would allow me to join, even though I was late in registering. So I went through the registration process and – voila! I was in!

And that’s how I got hooked and started my serious writing phase. I have always love to write and I had journals and notes that I have kept throughout the years. But the writing class that I started in 2016 pushed me to seriously consider writing and sharing my work with others.

Writing was comforting to me, especially when I was going through tough times. I have always used writing as my venting mechanism. I have vented a lot during a couple of years prior to the class and have been thinking about putting it all together and writing a book. So, here was my chance to begin pursuing my dream of writing.

I remembered calling my husband after I registered. I was so happy!

Because I have missed the first class, I contacted the instructor to find out more about the class and what I missed. I remembered asking her about how the class/workshop fit into writing non-fiction, as that was my main interest. She ensured me that the class would be helpful for all types of writing, as the focus was on the techniques of good writing. She told me not to worry about missing the first class, sent me the materials and homework, and welcomed me to the class.

I proceeded to write my first piece for the class – a one pager introducing some of the themes of a potential book that was in my mind. The title of the piece is ‘I’m still Puerto Rican’ – see link below.

I’m Still Puerto Rican

A New Year – Welcome to My 2019 Life!

As I turn the page to 2019, I reflect on the past and look forward to the New Year. Despite the ups and downs of last year, I’m proud and excited that the transition to the New Year aligned with the creating of My Coqui Soul Project blog. This accomplishment not only symbolizes a great step toward my journey of self-discovery, but it also provides an avenue to express my thoughts through the journey.

I have been writing for years, here and there, throughout my life experiences. There are notebooks that I started with the intention of creating a book someday. There are pieces that I created during a creative writing class that I took after my father passed away, including essays and poems. And there are daily writings that accumulated in my iPhone and iPad notes. With this blog, I now have a place where I can write and organize my thoughts with a purpose. I don’t know where all this will lead me – a book of essays, a memoir, something else? But what I know is that I’m not going to worry about the finish line. I’m just going to work on the journey and let things develop from there.

It is refreshing to know that I’m in a different place from where I was in 2018. I have a blog, I’m a published writer, and I have a voice. I’m doing what I truly believe is my purpose. I love writing. It comes easy, not because there is no effort, but because I enjoy doing it and it doesn’t feel like work. Writing comes naturally. Writing gives me peace, even when I’m sharing tough issues. Writing rejuvenates my soul and gives it a voice. Having a voice is an important part of being. Writing gives meaning to my life and my soul.

Welcome to the continuation of my journey of self-discovery. I have so many things to say and share. I hope you enjoy my company.

Cheers to the New Year!

Cheering myself up through Hamilton

If you are a Hamilton musical fan a lot of these thoughts will make sense. If you are not, I hope that you can follow my thoughts anyway.

Work has been very hard lately. I have felt like I ran out of steam. Or maybe I should say that I am running out of steam, to be a bit hopeful that maybe there is some steam left?

Hamilton, the musical, helped restart the engine, the light, the steam!

There has been so many things happening during the last couple of years. They have been painful years…Trump won the election and became President two years ago. I work for a federal agency whose mission has not been supported by the new Administration. In addition, I’m a Hispanic woman and Hispanics and minorities have been attacked in the public arena. It has felt like my life has gone through an emotional roller coaster. Maybe not a roller coaster, because there were more ‘downs’ than ‘ups.’ A tumultuous couple of years – defining years- as I will figure out and reflect again about my purpose. There were a lot of down times – sadness, fear, uncertainty. My confidence shaken, a feeling of loss of value. I have felt belittled, insulted, offended as a minority Hispanic woman in the United States, and an immigrant. At times I felt hopeless, depressed, lost. It has taken me a couple of years to recover, to be where I am today.

To better understand where I am today, I feel like I need to look back, re-examine, re-evaluate, pick-up the pieces to be whole again, find the lessons that were given through times of desperation, find my worth and value again, rediscover who I am, my purpose, my gift. I need to take a SHOT at life and pursue my life purpose – WRITING!

What does Hamilton have to do with all this? A lot…

Running out of steam…I know how that feels like. But I can get up again…RISE UP! I have been there. I know I can do it. I can make it to the finish line.

“Set up your eyes on what lies ahead after the finish line – not what you have to go through to make it to the finish line.” — IS

There might be pain, but your mind can take you to the finish line. It’s like running a marathon! Every time I think about the marathon, a smile appears in my face. That was such an accomplishment. Such Sisu! Sisu is a Finnish word that is hard to translate to English. It means something like being gutsy or determined. But in reality it is a lot more than that. (I will be writing more on the Finnish connection later).

When I ran the Detroit marathon years ago, I collapsed twice! Think about it. Not once, but twice! But I got up – RISE UP! – and I finished the marathon ‘standing’ with a smile on my face that was recorded by the photographer at the finish line. How in the world did that happened? It happened because of who I am. I am persistent. I am passionate, gutsy. I never give up when something is on the line. So there is a no reason to give up, regardless of the pain and suffering experienced some days. The journey to the finish line will always have ups and downs. But having a goal in mind will take me to the finish line and beyond – retirement and maybe a book as an outcome of this blog! It will happen because I will not give up. I might feel like collapsing, like running out of steam, but I will get up – RISE UP!

I WILL NOT THROW AWAY MY SHOT!

My Shot! I want to be Hamilton!

If you are a Hamilton musical fan a lot of these thoughts will make sense. If you are not, I hope that you can follow my thoughts anyway.

Funny how things appear in your path and impact your life….destiny? Serendipity?

A little over a year has passed since my 55th birthday. That birthday started a seed that now I’m finally beginning to see grow into this blog that I started on my 56th birthday.

For my 55th birthday, I went to Chicago to see ‘Hamilton: An American Musical.’ I was filled with excitement. It seemed that every other soul, but my husband and I, has seen Hamilton – the most popular musical in many years. I knew a little about the musical, but mostly that it was very popular in Broadway and that his creator was from a family from Puerto Rico. The creator was Lin-Manuel Miranda. Beyond that, I didn’t know much about the story line or everything else about the book from which the musical was based on. Actually, I didn’t even know that there was a book until after I saw the musical. I have heard that the musical was awesome, great from co-workers and news. Because of my lack of knowledge, I thought it was a good idea to read/learn a bit about ‘Hamilton’ before heading to Chicago. I didn’t want to be lost during the performance. As my husband and I were waiting for the train to Chicago, I went to Wikipedia. The article was short and I got a taste for what was to come, as I read and share with my husband the ‘cliff notes’ for ‘Hamilton.’ Thank you Wikipedia!

Nothing out there could have prepared me for what was to come…. My experience was out of this world. I felt connected to the musical in a way that I still can’t quite fully describe or explain. It was such an emotional experience. There were so many similarities…Is this why I felt an immediate connection?

Hamilton – an immigrant from the Caribbean – was working hard against all odds to become a founding father. Fast forwarding more than two centuries, I found my life reflected in front of me as I was watching the musical. From that day on, the lyrics are always on my mind!

I felt so much pride when I saw ’Hamilton.’ But it was so much more…the Puerto Rico connection (the hurricane)…the immigrant…the passion…the search for something more…the feeling that there is a purpose…the need for something more…the idea of not giving up… (Non-stop)…the inexplicable fire in my chest and head of thousands of thoughts/words wanting to come out…the love of writing…the love of writing!

My SHOT! What an inspiration! What about my shot? What is supposed to be my place in history?

RISE UP! Don’t give up! Don’t give up your dream. What is supposed to be my legacy? What am I leaving behind after I’m gone? Is this the reason why I’m coming back to writing? I want to leave something behind, something for posterity – my legacy? But it is so much more than that….Hamilton fired up my engine again. Hamilton lit up a fire within me that I was struggling to keep alive.

I have been down lately – depressed? I have been searching for answers, searching for inspiration, searching for a reason to go on, searching for happiness, searching for ‘my purpose.’

JUST YOU WAIT!

It is up to me to do what I want, to follow my dream…to write! I love it. This is the one thing that comes without effort. I have so many thoughts that I want to share. It feels so good to write them. They flow freely and I can’t contain them. Why should I? I should go back to writing. It really doesn’t matter what happens with my writings. Let the future, my destiny, evolve…Let the happiness…

RISE UP!

I have been talking (writing) about finding my purpose for a while. I’m not waiting any longer.

DON’T THROW AWAY YOUR SHOT!

We only have one life. I should pursue my purpose, my happiness, my freedom. I need to lead my life. It is all up to me, not to others. It is not about my job. It is about what I do with my free time. What I pursue because it brings me joy, not because I have to, but because I want to.

Hamilton brought hope, re-alignment, re-focus, pride – an immigrant from the Caribbean achieving greatness/success. Hamilton shook my core and my soul, but in a positive way. Hamilton reminded me that our ‘inside forces’ are stronger than ‘outside factors.’ That drive, passion, and perseverance can move mountains. That achievement is self-driven, not given. Hamilton reminded me that I too can write and express myself and do it because I ‘feel’ those feelings and I have the thoughts. The thoughts and feelings are real because they are mine. No one can tell me otherwise. My purpose and goal is not to convince, but to be honest and true to myself – to be something more than what’s in sight, to give a voice to my soul, to experience the freedom and happiness that comes from being myself. There is a ‘purity’ (wholesomeness) that comes with the freedom of expression – an indescribable feeling of giving ‘life’ to your soul. It is like an adventure in exploring oneself in a way that no one else can, without doubts, regrets…let the pen flow, guide you, be honest, be true, be pure, be you!

DON’T THROW AWAY YOUR SHOT!

Maybe I’m not writing a novel, an autobiography, a memoir. Maybe I’m just supposed to write my thoughts, ideas. Maybe they are valuable to others? But even if they are not…they are valuable to me and they need to come out…they need to be written down. Doing anything short of that would be like killing my soul, like drowning the beauty of freedom, like betraying myself, my life, who I am, my purpose, my SHOT!

I’M NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!

This is my revolution! This is my time! This is my happiness! This is my path! This is my purpose. This is me!

Sadness after Happiness

I had such a happy day yesterday celebrating my 56th birthday. I felt so relaxed, even though going to work usually gives me stress. However, I was able to re-energize my spirits through relaxation and the many joys experienced during my birthday. I got up early and felt that I could conquer the world. Unfortunately, sadness was soon to come.

Not long after I arrived at work I received news that a person in my staff passed during the weekend. It was a sudden death. Shocking. I have spoken with her a few days ago and she seemed happy with her usual cheery attitude. Then today, she is gone. It’s not easy to write about this. I have spent almost all day crying, thinking about her, thinking about how fragile life is.

We make plans, we worry about things, we think we are in control and then we realize when someone dies that control is an illusion and that not much that happens around you at work is important compared to the loss of a life. Death reminds us that we should live every minute as it was our last; that what’s important in life are the relationships that we have with our loved ones; that nothing else matters much.

I have been thinking a lot today about one of Queen’s songs that I heard at the movie that we watched a couple of days ago (Bohemian Rhapsody movie). The title of the song is ‘Who Wants to Live Forever.’ No one lives forever, but I want to say that I want to live forever. I don’t want to die. I have so many things that I want to do.

The loss that I experienced today reinforces my project. I’m glad I started this blog. I’m glad that I’m not waiting for any special signs (I have received many already). I want to follow my dream now. I want to live everyday feeling that I contributed to my life’s purpose. Whatever time I have in this world I want to use to do what I enjoy — and that is writing. Like Hamilton, I don’t want to throw away my shot!

A Journey To Finding My Soul

The Journey Begins

My name is Ines. Today is my 56th birthday and I decided to create this blog to give a voice to my coqui soul.

I call it coqui soul because I am from Puerto Rico. The coqui is a tiny frog native from Puerto Rico. It serves as a national symbol for Puerto Rico. As a native Puerto Rican, I strongly identify with the coqui. Thus, I’m calling this site My Coqui Soul project, as the purpose of this journey is to discover my Puerto Rican – coqui – soul.

I was born and lived in Puerto Rico until I graduated from college. Then I moved to Michigan in 1984 to attend graduate school. I now live in Michigan.

After 34 years from leaving the island, I still relate deeply to the coqui. I’m Puerto Rican by birth and feel that I will always be Puerto Rican in my soul.

For the last several years, I have been doing a lot of self-reflection. I guess you can say that I have been going through mid-life crisis. A lot of things have happened that triggered my exploration. I have been thinking a lot about who I am. Not superficially, but who I truly am. I have been searching for my soul.

This blog gives a voice to my coqui soul. I will be sharing my thoughts, my emotions. and the many life lessons learned along the way. I hope that you join me in this journey. Maybe you can relate to my observations. I hope you can also reflect as you listen and even learn something about yourself. I hope my journey can evolve into your own journey.

Welcome to my blog — My Coqui Soul Project

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton