Tag: culture

A Tale of Two Christmases

Today I’m heading to Puerto Rico for Christmas. It is funny that as I’m getting ready this morning, I find myself humming Christmas tunes. But not Christmas tunes from Puerto Rico, but American Christmas songs. ‘I’ll be home for Christmas’ was in my mind and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I’m glad that I was humming songs, as that was a sign that I was somewhat relaxed.

It is always stressful to travel, especially when we are flying long distance, like to Puerto Rico. My husband and I were traveling for the Holidays for a long stay this time – three weeks – so packing was a challenge, especially when we only take carry-on luggage.

Thinking about our travel this morning reminded me of the two types of Christmas that I have experienced since I married. We alternate each year to visit family and the Christmases are totally different. Every other year we go to Idaho to my in-laws. Spending Christmas in Idaho, for someone from Puerto Rico, has always been challenging for me. Not because I don’t want to visit my husband’s family, but because I miss Puerto Rico during Christmas more than any other time in the year. It is usually a very melancholic time for me. During Christmas, my coqui soul wants to be in Puerto Rico. It is hard for me, as my husband also experiences being homesick and he wants to go to Idaho so bad. But for me, is more than a location. Our Christmas in Idaho is such a departure from what I grew up with in Puerto Rico.

Christmas in Idaho is all about family and football at the home of my in-laws. It is usually cold, there is usually a lot of snow, and we don’t go out much. As everyone else in my in-laws family, I’m also interested in the bowl games and rooting for my football team, University of Michigan.  But the feeling around the family gathering is completely different from what I grew up with in Puerto Rico. I have been married for 23 years, which means that we have been going to my in-laws for a long time. Despite that, I still miss the Christmas spirit in Puerto Rico. At this time of the year, something takes over my head – feelings of melancholy toward my native Puerto Rico and my family – and I find myself unable to control those feelings. I feel torn between my American life in the United States and the usual American Christmas, and my Puerto Rican identity and cultural attachment to the island that pulls me in a different direction.

I enjoy the American Christmas’ traditions. I usually start humming American Christmas songs in early December, as my birthday approaches. I really get into the American Christmas spirit. And that makes sense, as I have lived in the States for more than half my life. But there are always different feelings that wake up during the Christmas season related to my Puerto Rican roots. Christmas in Puerto Rico is so different, because Puerto Rican culture is completely different from the United States. The Puerto Rican Christmas is rich with music and dance. There are the ‘parrandas’ where groups gather to sing Puerto Rican Christmas songs while going from house to house. There is the celebration of Three Kings Day where Puerto Rican kids get gifts for a second time during the season – after receiving gifts from Santa Claus on Christmas day. There are the special Christmas songs that are newly released each year – yes, every Christmas, there are new songs written for the season and the radio stations fill their broadcast with traditional and newly released songs.

Besides the cultural differences, there is the warm weather.  Christmas weather in Puerto Rico is usually around 80 degrees – not much different from the weather throughout the year.  After all, we are in the Caribbean, and weather in the Caribbean doesn’t change much.  You live in shorts and t-shirts, you can go to the beach, and a ‘party-like’ atmosphere dominates every day during the holiday season.  Also, the season in Puerto Rico goes forever.  It usually starts after Thanksgiving, like in the United States, but that’s pretty much the only similarity.  Holidays in Puerto Rico extend way beyond Christmas Day.  There is the excitement of Christmas and gifts to be given and received, but then comes New Year’s Eve – a big day in Puerto Rico, where there are celebrations throughout the neighborhoods and hotels.  In fact, my husband and I will go with my parents to celebrate New Year’s at a hotel every time we were visiting Puerto Rico.  New Year’s Day seems to define the end of the Holiday season in the United States.  But in Puerto Rico, that is only the beginning.  After New Year’s, there is Three Kings Day (January 6) – a big celebration in Puerto Rico, where kids get gifts a second time.  Then Puerto Ricans keep adding holidays after January 6.  There are the ‘octavas’ (eight days after January 6), and then the ‘octavitas’ (eight days after that).  But wait…it’s not over yet.  If you are in San Juan, then you celebrate the ‘Fiestas de San Sebastian,’ starting about mid-January – a ‘Mardi  Gras’ like celebration where people flood the streets of Old San Juan for a week, with continuous parades of music and dancing everywhere you go.  I have never experienced the ‘Fiestas de San Sebastian,’ but I hope to do that someday.

So, as I said earlier, the Christmas/Holiday season in Puerto Rico is very different from the United States in many ways, both in cultural and timeline terms.  Being from Puerto Rico, it is difficult to not miss the spirit of celebration that permeates throughout the island during the Holidays.  Christmas in Puerto Rico is like nothing else in the world, as the cultural roots dominate the music, dance, and traditions during the many festivities.

Puerto Ricans are Americans by birth, but our cultural roots go back more than five hundred years when Christopher Columbus discovered the island in 1492. Puerto Rican culture is a complex mix of Spanish, African, and American traditions. But the Spanish and African traditions are the oldest and most ingrained in our culture. We have only be part of the United States for a little over 100 years. Before the United States landed in Puerto Rico, there was already a very strong culture fully developed and deeply impressed in the psyche of Puerto Ricans.

Being torn between two cultures is not a new feeling for me. In fact, the reason why I’m going through this journey of self-discovery is because I feel torn and uneasy a lot lately, especially as I grow older. It’s like the longer I live in the United States, the stronger the feelings of wanting to find myself – the harder the struggle with my identity and wanting to understand and getting in touch with my soul – my coqui soul.

I live in two cultures.  Thus, I experience two Christmases.

The Cockfighting Wars

I always keep up with the Puerto Rican newspaper to learn about what’s going on in the island. After all, I’m Puerto Rican. So even though I live thousands of miles from the island, my immediate family still lives in Puerto Rico. But to be honest, I don’t follow the Puerto Rican news because of my family. I follow the news because my journey of self-discovery attempting to understand my soul and emotions is very much related to my Puerto Rican heritage. Anyway, I will be talking about all that later, but for now I want to share my emotions about the recent news.

The United States Congress declared cockfighting illegal and these news have dominated the newspapers and discussions in the island, from the poorest towns to the highest government officials, including the Governor of Puerto Rico. Amazingly, the cockfighting prohibition awakened the soul of Puerto Ricans like nothing else before. Why? I will share my own feelings about this, because I found myself reacting similarly to those living in Puerto Rico. Congress drew a line in the sand and I knew immediately where I stood – and it was not with the United States.

When I read the news, I was appalled. Somehow the news triggered a reaction in my soul that called for rebellion and disgust. The recent prohibition from Congress was a blatant exercise of United States colonialism. Yes, Puerto Rico is a colony of the United States and the recent act against cockfighting provides an unequivocal example of the colonial relationship between the United States and Puerto Rico. There are a lot of complicated aspects ingrained in this relationship that started in 1898 when United States attacked Puerto Rico during the Spanish American War and took control of the island from Spain. I have been doing a lot of research about this through my journey of self-discovery and the feelings awakened by this research will probably surface through a lot of my writings.

Today I wanted to share that I’m siding with Puerto Ricans and my position is clear and cemented by my Puerto Rican roots. I had the same feelings of the many Puerto Ricans that have expressed their disgust with Congress’ action against cockfighting. I find myself in a place that could be hard to understand by other Americans. Yes, I’m an American by birth – I was born in Puerto Rico and I’m an American citizen. But I’m drawn to Puerto Rico and its struggles by my coqui soul. That I can’t refute. My soul picked a side – that of Puerto Rico – and there is nothing I can do. I should say that I don’t want to do anything differently. I feel proud to pick Puerto Rico as my side. The purpose of this journey is to find clarity and peace. Through my rebellious reaction to Congress’ action, I experienced clarity and peace.

I’m against colonialism. The recent lack of action from the United States toward Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria clearly displayed the worst of colonialism. With the cockfighting prohibition, the United States again take control over the island as a master over its slave. There is no consideration for Puerto Ricans and its culture. I have never participated in a cockfight before. But I don’t need to. My grandfather did. Cockfighting is part of the Puerto Rican culture. Like bullfighting is part of the Spanish culture. I love animals, and it saddens me that I have to pick a side that might not align with my love for animals. But, it’s a matter of principle. The ruling against cockfighting is a ruling for colonialism.

If you think this is a big contradiction, you are right. That is what I live with – a big contradiction of loyalty toward my Puerto Rico and loyalty toward the United States. Loyalty toward my values and love of animals and rebellion against the prohibition. The dichotomy has been present – and will most likely be present throughout my entire life. But understanding why that dichotomy exists and understanding its roots, are the main reasons why I started this journey.

It is complicated. I will continue to explore my feelings in an attempt to better understand my soul. The path will be full of contradictions, but nevertheless, I need to do this because getting to know my soul and finding its voice is needed for my survival.

Today I stand against colonialism. I stand for Puerto Rico. My coqui soul knows which side I should be with. I’m standing strong with my fellow Puerto Ricans.