Tag: politics

Furloughed

I work for the federal government and my agency is currently experiencing a shutdown.  That means that I’m furloughed – which in simple words means that I’m not allowed to work and thus, I’m not receiving a paycheck.

The furlough started while I was in Puerto Rico for the Holidays.  Today is day 26 of the government shutdown with no end in sight.

If you follow up the politics you know that the President didn’t fund the government, as he didn’t get the billions of dollars that he was asking to build a wall between the United States and Mexico.  The topic of the wall has been a difficult one for me to deal with since Trump was promising a wall when he was campaigning for the Presidency.  Even before Trump became President, his comments about immigrants from Mexico and other Hispanic countries were offensive and discriminatory.  Nothing has changed since then.

In my opinion, the views about Mexican and other Hispanic immigrants and the fear that Trump is trying to create by saying that we need a wall is nothing more than an attempt to prevent people in need to come to this country and earn a decent living.  Immigrants are not taking jobs from Americans.  However, most of them have brown skin and that in my opinion, is the biggest reason why immigrants from Mexico and South America are been discriminated against.  To me this is the same old racism that has existed in the United States since its beginnings.  I thought there was progress about acceptance of diversity in this country.  However, the actions of Trump and his supporters during his campaign and now during his Administration tells me that racial discrimination in this country is alive and well.  Trump has not only offended minorities, but has opened the door to blatant racism and discriminatory language in this country.

I would like to get my job back and would also like to get paid for my job.  However, I don’t support building the wall and as such, I’m willing to be furloughed for the cause.

 

Finding myself – it has been a tough road

We are all different. Why am I struggling so much recently about who I am, where I come from, questioning if I fit in? I wondered if I have changed who I am deep inside me in order to fit in. Have I become a different person (a fake?) to fit in? Why was it needed and/or necessary? Why do I struggle with feeling confident and valued? Maybe it is because of all the messages out there (before and after the election) – negativity towards immigrants, Hispanics, minorities, women. It is hard to not take those hurtful comments personally. What am I supposed to do – it feels personal because it hurts at a personal level. The insults and offenses, targeting minorities, Hispanics like me. How can I ignore, forget, move on? I have tried during the past couple of years to do that, but it has not worked. The negativity, the messages are all around me and they spill into not only my personal but work life.

What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to leave the feelings behind me, leave them at the door when I go to work? To me, that’s like asking a person to leave behind ‘at the door’ who they are. Ignoring what’s happening in this country (especially after the election) feels like betraying myself. I can’t hide the color of my skin, I can’t hide my accent, I can’t leave my ‘values’ behind me when I come to work or when I interact with others. That’s why it is so hard to not take things ‘personal.’ The negative messages hit my core, my soul, and my values. They hit deep and they hit hard. They have shaken my confidence. They have caused fear and distrust. Maybe writing all this will be like ‘therapy’ for my soul. At least I will have an avenue to express my voice, express my pain, express my frustration, and express myself.